Margery's Note....
I saw an article about young girls (age 11!) ruining their skin by following influencers on TikTok so they could keep their young looking skin….
Which made me think about the influencer mania we currently live in….
And reinforced my thoughts about this month’s note: Do what works for you!
But, if we succumb to influencers, how do we really know what works for us?
Which takes us back to one of the original reasons we started GGN, to help women find their inner voices and LISTEN TO THEM!!!!!
Last month we talked about feeling a ray of hope, that things might get just a little more positive in the world around us. And feeling more hopeful is a start. But what happens if we feel inundated by information and aren’t sure what to do with all of it?
How do I know what works for me?????
I have a sure-fire way to know. Start listening, really listening, to your inner voice.
Several years ago I had a client who made a very costly mistake in his company. He was devastated and started spiraling down into severe self-doubt. I gave him the Four Questions and asked him to use them all day long, especially at work, but also at home, to get in touch with his inner voice. If he had been listening to that very reliable self-generating tool, he wouldn’t have made the error.
The benefit was that he did the work. The mistake pushed him forward into a much more productive and rewarding relationship with himself. He shifted his role in the company, built a department that he could manage differently, resolved his internal struggles and the company continues to grow.
Why is this so important? Because most people live life from the outside in, not the inside out.
They try to please others, or do what they believe will be acceptable to others. They either over accommodate, or reject valuable input by feeling defensive and operate from fear that they won’t be seen as smart or powerful. Oddly, though those traits seem opposite, they are still indicators of outside in thinking. The focus is on “them” not us.
I’m not advocating manipulative selfishness here. I’m suggesting wise selfishness, a term I learned from a therapist in 1988 which helped me wake up and change my life.
Wise selfishness is another way to live from the inside out. You take care of yourself, while being aware of what you’re doing and how it affects others. It requires a big picture attitude. And the Four Questions help you get there:
Here’s how it goes: Before you do even the most menial or everyday task, before you handle a work problem, make any decision, you ask yourself:
- How do I feel about that?
- Is that what I really want to do?
- What is the outcome or result I am looking for?
- How will it affect the people around me?
And you keep doing it all day long, every day, for months, if possible. Until it becomes such a habit that you are the first person you consult and/or listen to about everything.
Full disclosure, it took me a long time for it to be habitual. But each time I didn’t ask the Four Questions, I suffered consequences which could have been avoided.
I learned to temper my people pleasing so that it is merely a tool I use when I really do care that others are pleased. I learned to say no, even when others were very convincing, when I truly didn’t want to do whatever they wanted from me.
I learned to live my life for me, which erased the constant pressure of feeling less-than, inadequate and falling short of others’ expectations. I may not be everyone else’s favorite person, but I definitely became my own.
In fact, I love myself so much, that nothing will make me do something I don’t want to do. If I can’t find a benefit in it, it doesn’t work for me. That isn’t to say I don’t love doing things that benefit others. It just has to be a win-win for both sides in one way or another.
So, here’s my note for this month: Do what works for you!!!
GGN Member Ann Ranson shares her story about listening to her gut….
When should you trust your gut, and when should you seek more information?
In February, I booked a trip to the pyramids of Teotihuacan in Mexico.
When I first received the info about their 2024 trip – they have one each year – I didn’t even open it. I’d been to Mexico twice last year.
Finally I decided to at least check it out.
It’s scheduled over Summer Solstice, the annual event I had just read something about. Then, I learned that Teo, for short, is the home of the original people of Mayan, Aztec, and Toltec. I’m a huge fan of don Miguel Ruiz, a Toltec shaman who wrote The Four Agreements.
I decided to sign up.
A couple of months later I was with friends as I tried to describe the trip. It didn’t go well, because I didn’t really know why I was going except that I had trusted my gut.
How often do you trust your gut when you’re making decisions, whether large or small? Or do you?
Over the years, I’ve developed a deep trust in my gut, or intuition. But it didn’t come quickly. Instead, I practice trusting it.
I started by testing my trust on small things.
Should I exit here to avoid the traffic, or just sit until it opened up?
With practice I got pretty good, so I upped the ante until I began trusting it for most things.
And it’s all relative.
For me, I have found that it depends on the topic and how clear I am within. It also depends on how knowledgeable I am about it.
In most things, the combination of knowledge and gut has proven to be a powerful tool for me.
Here’s why,
1. I fundamentally believe that we all have untapped inner wisdom and that part of my job as a human is to figure out how to access it.
2. When we spend time every day in the quiet, we can practice listening. The more we listen the more we will trust. Practice asking yourself questions to see what your wisdom says.
3. As a person of deep faith, I also believe that I am connected to the Creator who helps inspire me to think, be, and do things I probably wouldn’t think of on my own.
So, was my gut right about traveling to the pyramids?
Yes, absolutely, AND it was physically the most grueling thing I remember ever doing. Well, maybe except natural child birth. 🙂
The first day we went to the pyramids – Quetzalcoatl – was hot. And at 7500 feet, hot is even hotter. The air is thin due to the altitude, and honestly, I’m not a specimen of physical fitness.
I wasn’t mentally prepared to climb the pyramid as I had mistakenly thought it wasn’t allowed.
I was shocked when we headed there, but I thought, ‘this is what’s expected’, and made myself climb it. Yes I had help, but I barely made it. Then there was the even scarier climb down. Again, with help, I made it.
Long story short, I was overcome with heat exhaustion.
Despite this experience I’d say that the community and ceremonies made up for the exhaustion. Even the ceremony at dawn on the Summer Solstice as we greeted the sun was fabulous. Though I’m not a morning person, on that day I was gladly up and on the lawn by 545am.
I’m so glad that I listened to my gut!
Phone 972.308.6995
Web www.AnnRanson.com
GGN Member Glenna Hecht shares her latest blog:
From Disappointment to Delight: Lessons in Service and Leadership
During a recent trip to Nairobi, I found myself on an emotional rollercoaster that highlighted stark contrasts in customer service. What began as a frustrating experience transformed into an unforgettable encounter, leaving me with powerful insights into service and leadership.
A Dinner Gone Wrong
Excited for a night out, we chose to visit a highly rated restaurant with high hopes for a memorable meal. Unfortunately, the evening quickly went awry. The server, seemingly new and overwhelmed, fumbled the entire experience. Orders were mixed up, vegetables arrived after the main course, and dessert was served before my entrée. Frustrated and still hungry, I returned to my hotel, hoping to salvage the night with something to eat.
A Night Saved by Remarkable Service
Back at the hotel, I met Sally and Effie, two young women working the late shift at the restaurant. Spotting my disappointment, they asked if everything was alright. Upon hearing about my dining disaster, they immediately offered to make it right, even though the mishap hadn’t occurred in their restaurant. They insisted on bringing me a plate of African pumpkin and, to my surprise, refused any payment.
As we chatted, they shared how they would have handled a similar situation. They spoke about reading back orders for accuracy, swiftly addressing any mistakes with an apology and a solution, and always keeping their manager in the loop—a manager they deeply respected for guidance and support.
Read more….
Thank you to Toni Portmann for sharing this inspiring message….
Track Meetings
We still ask for $5 to cover costs. And yes, you can register at the last minute…. but it would be GREAT if you let us know a couple of days before so we can plan our refreshments!!!
Our Track meetings are designed to give us a sacred space to have meaningful, purposeful conversations without fear of being judged or competed with. Only Members can attend. They are amazing experiences, unlike any ‘networking meeting’ you have ever attended!
GGN members MUST REGISTER to attend these meetings, so just follow the links below! And if you want to learn about us, go ahead and join GGN~~if you decide it isn’t for you, we will refund your membership fee!
Currently we meet the 2nd Monday morning and 3rd Wednesday evening of each month (see below).
Each one is an event or happening in itself. Some members come frequently, some come only once in a while. Whenever you attend one, you will find out things you didn’t know, connect with women who will challenge and inspire you, and you will leave with some new perspectives.
Monday Morning Magic Track
- September 9, 2024
- 10 am to 12 noon CT
- What’s working you this month? Let’s talk about it!!!
Click here to join us for Monday Morning Magic!
Growth & Transitions
- Wednesday, September 18, 2024
- 7 to 9 pm CT
- Are some new ideas starting to pop up? Need any feedback???
Become a Member!
Great Girls Network is our way of being the opposite of the Good Ol’ Boys Network (which is still very much alive and well!). Even if you don’t participate in Track meetings, your membership gives you a way to support our existence and be a part of a growing group of women who really appreciate each other. And the Trii-Annual Gatherings are unlike any other “networking” event! We know women don’t network like men. We want to build relationships, we want deeper, more meaningful connections. That is exactly what GGN provides.
Our membership fee of $50 per year gives you access to our Track Meetings and also contributions to our Newsletter. The fee helps sustain our website, but it also ensures that when you participate in a Track meeting, you will honor the sacredness of the conversations because you are a member.
We created a digital card that helps people understand what they can get from joining GGN so click here to see the card.
Your membership helps give us that foundation, the strength to grow and have an impact on the lives of so many more women.
